Seeding a Temple of Solace

Hello Everyone

Despite the content of this email being quite personal I am sending it to everyone connected to me because I can no longer remain silent. Mahatma Gandhi said

The greatest tragedy in Life
is NOT the brutality of Evil people,
but the Silence of the good ones”

Many of you, who have become close to me, know that the sense of loss and grief that I have experienced over the past fifteen years as my husband’s health deteriorated, due to work related issues has been compounded and accentuated by the inability of many, who have been close to us, to be kind to us.

Over recent days, as Darryl undergoes more chemotherapy (the fourth series of treatment) and has faced day surgery to replace stents from his kidney to his bladder, the silence of the so called good ones has really stuck in my neck. So many who are close to us do not seem to be even able to pick up a phone to ask how we are faring.

This is a recent photo of Darryl. He is a strong man who has fought hard. Those who have been close to us possibly do not want to see him looking like this but the members of the Ulysses Biking Club seem to be able to embrace him, nurture him and care.

Rather than wallow in self pity and my sense of being utterly abandoned, of feeling as though I live in a leper compound, I have decided to take action. Since my close friend, Monika, lost her partner Brian to sudden death I have been speaking to her daily to make sure she does not feel abandoned and knows that I really care. As a result of our shared experiences we have decided to build the Temple of Solace at http://solacetemple.wordpress.com.

This temple is not just for those who are feeling isolated because of circumstances such as ours. Someone may need some kind words as a result of a loss of a job, a way of life, an empty nest, the loss of a teddy bear, the death of a pet, the loss of property, loss of a way of life, a lost muse, a sense of abandonment: about almost anything. Personally, I have found that kind words can reduce me to tears, simply because I am not as accustomed to kind words and kind actions as I am at steeling myself, putting up my armour to protect myself from the pain of what feels like rejection.

When you arrive at the temple, choose a rug from the pile Monika has provided, wrap it around yourself, rock and keen or wail if that is what you feel like doing.

Choose a rug of comfort, wrap yourself and sit in the Temple of Solace.

image courtesy of Monika Roleff - October 2006

There is only one catch to all of this. If you choose to unburden and seek some comfort be ready to comfort and listen to others. No one is expected to find any solutions or offer any quick fixes. They are simply expected to hear and feel empathy and then go out into the real world and treat people with kindness.

For a long time gratitude journals have been popular and these are excellent. What we would like to see in the temple is a book of kindness where folk record and share some of the simple things they have done to comfort and support another over a sustained period. You see, folk are usually quite good at the time of a cataclysmic happening but they are not always so good at marathon running, at being there for an extended period. It often simply gets too hard.

What also needs to be recorded is what we feel would have been enough. It would have been enough for me to have some family call in for ten minutes, say hello, maybe bring a cheap bunch of flowers or a Danish to have with morning tea. It is enough when people spend a little bit of time with me.

Anyway! This is simply a seeding email. I am hoping that people will ask to become members of the temple, that they will produce ideas, essays about the subject, icons that comfort, alters, references, meditations, helpful hints, spirit lifter suggestions and so on.

Lets start a chain reaction to break the silence Gandhi spoke of.

Simply begin commenting at http://solacetemple.wordpress.com and if you want to be a member of a team committed to beating the drums that call for compassion, empathy and kindness, simply contact

heatherblakey at gmail dot net

indigo_moon22 at hotmail dot com (Monika Rolf - Imogene Crest)

warm wishes

Heather